By Dr. Patricia Carrington
We all know how effective EFT is when all is going well with it. The correct EFT statement often makes all the difference in the way we react to a given situation or person.
However, each of us sometimes comes up against a stubborn inner voice that says, “I won't!” (or something equally forceful) to indicate its refusal to comply with our conscious, well-intentioned suggestion. This “I won't!" can take place even while the EFT self-acceptance phrase (“I deeply and completely accept myself…”) is being repeated, or it can undermine any EFT Choices phrase you might make.
Resistance like this can block progress in any self-help technique, but one of the most effective ways I know to disarm it is a method I call the Forbidding Tactic. This method makes use of a universal human trait. If you tell somebody (anybody) not to do something under any circumstances, and if you make that command even more emphatic by telling them that they are not even to think about doing it, what happens?
We all know it is unwise to say the least to forbid someone to do something they want to do, unless we can enforce our command with certainty. If something is forbidden and the command is not sufficiently enforced, it becomes a strong incentive to do the very thing that has been forbidden!
It is sometimes essential to forbid certain acts, of course. For example, a law that forbids people to drive a car through a red light is essential for traffic safety and saves countless lives. However it would be quite counterproductive to tell people not to run red lights if there was no way of enforcing this law. An airtight system needs to be in place to enforce any essential law (such as “Do not drive a car through a red light” or “Do not kill a person”), or the law will backfire.
You may recall that in the Prohibition Era in the United States, prohibiting people from purchasing liquor only resulted in increased sales of alcohol rather than the other way around. The use of liquor was more desirable when it was forbidden. Similarly, when a book has been banned, we often see sales of that book shoot upwards.
A similar thing takes place when you are asked not to think of something –– say a white elephant for two minutes. The first thing that happens is that a white elephant comes into your mind –– being forbidden to think of the white elephant has called it into your mind –– powerfully. This happens because of our human tendency to go opposite to what we are told to avoid – to seek out the forbidden at all costs.
We can use this human tendency in a very constructive way, however, when we are “stuck” doing EFT. It can help us to get through blocks caused by resistance to any of our goals.
Suppose, for example, that a person creates a Choices statement such as, “Even though I haven’t begun my new diet yet, I choose to do that easily and effectively.” This can be very helpful if the person has a clear, unmixed motivation to start the diet. However, if there is what Gary Craig calls a “tail ender” in operation –– a secret objection to dieting or the idea of starting the diet, –– then it might be necessary to address this tail ender directly by using what I call the Forbidding Tactic.
This tactic requires that you sternly forbid yourself to do what you think you want and are choosing to do. In the case of the dieter mentioned above, the person would create for themselves a “Forbidding” phrase that might go as follows:
“Even though I haven’t begun my diet yet, I FORBID myself to start it!” , or a simpler phrase such as, “Even though I haven’t begun my diet yet, I WON’T LET MYSELF start it!” Then they would tap on that phrase.
Different variations on this theme could be repeated at different tapping points. For example, “I will not let myself start that diet!”, or “I will not allow myself to start that diet!”
By forcing yourself to not do what you already resist doing anyway, you accomplish several things:
You are HEARD by yourself in a very satisfying manner. The fact is that everyone wants to have their own objections heard; they want to be able to voice loudly their own resistance to whatever they are told they absolutely must do.
The Forbidding Tactic encourages you to shout the words “I won’t!” as loudly as you wish, and as many times as you wish. In doing this you legitimatize your objections and “take the wind out of their sails”, you have disarmed them because you now have a RIGHT to object.
Another thing this accomplishes is to powerfully motivate yourself to do exactly what you are telling yourself not to do, in this case, the “forbidden” act of starting your diet!
This works because none of us like to be pushed around by another person or by ourselves, we don’t like to be told what to do. Also, the subconscious does not “read” negative words such as “No” or “ Not” and so embeds a powerful command to DO the forbidden thing. Tell yourself sternly and fiercely enough NOT to do something, and you are effectively motivating yourself to do it.
I highly recommend this easy unlocking tactic for use any time that you find a stubborn tail-ender getting in the way of realizing your EFT goals. It can work to bring you right where you really want to be.