Do You Really Know What You Want?
Not knowing what you really want in life is far more common than most people think. A striking instance of this comes to my mind.
Some years ago, before I ever heard of EFT or tapping, I was teaching a class on creating what you want in your own life through the use of positive Choices. At that time, no one knew about EFT, but I had been recommending “Choices” cards successfully for many years, and they ultimately became the forerunner to my present EFT Choices method.
During the sign-up for this class, which was a five-week course that met once a week, I remember, clearly, one woman; a high school librarian, who signed up for no discernible reason. When she registered, she announced that she didn’t know, herself, why she was coming to the class because, she “really didn’t want” anything in her life.
However, she didn’t appear to be a contented, fulfilled person who simply didn’t need anything else in her life. Rather, she seemed timid and somehow shut off from her own emotions. Before admitting her to the class, I sat down with this woman and questioned her about her possible interests, longings, or unfulfilled aspirations. We got nowhere with this, until she finally said, in a weak uncertain tone, “Well I guess maybe I’d like to have a rock garden.”
So that was her initial wish — a rock garden, no more. To me this symbolized an apparent barrenness of her life and an outlook that did not allow her to reach for anything other than what was already there. I didn’t tell her this, however. I simply admitted her to the class, whose members immediately began working on creating their own personal Choices for what they really want in life.
At first, the woman spoke little, while the rest of the class eloquently expressed their own frustrations about not being able to realize what they wanted in life. However, some of what they said apparently rubbed off on her.
By the third session of the class, an unsuspected wish of hers emerged. She shared with the class that she and her husband had not left the vicinity where they lived for eighteen years. Upon questioning her, by myself and the group, she realized that what she “secretly” wanted was to visit Europe for the first time in her life; to which she quickly added, “Of course this is impossible, because we could never afford it.”
As she began working on devising Choices cards, some ideas came to her, and during the last session of the class she suddenly announced that when she was in high school she had loved art and that she had recently found an old easel and some old paints in her attic and brought them out. This led to new Choices relating to the resurrection of her artwork, and soon, to her surprise, she had a list of Choices to work with.
Two weeks after completion of the course, this woman contacted me with the first real excitement in her voice that I had ever heard her express. She told me that she and her husband were planning to take a trip to Europe when the school year was finished. She also said she had bought some new art supplies, set up an easel, and was painting pictures of her existing garden. However, she was also planning a rock garden for the spring. 🙂
At the same time, several teachers in the local high school, where she was the librarian, reported to me that she seemed like a “different person,” humming and even singing out loud as she walked through the halls.
This woman began to realize that she did have half-buried issues and directions that she would like to pursue in her life. For her, this realization crystallized through exposure to a group where the members were moving ahead rapidly with their own personal Choices.
Today, even without such a group, EFT can be used effectively to create a personal vision. The first thing to do is recognize that not having such a vision indicates a block in yourself to, what is, a natural tendency. People, when left to their own devices, want certain things in life and deeply enjoy getting them. If you have no feeling of wanting to reach for what you want and no vision of what it might be, there are, most likely, some compelling reasons for its absence. All of these can be addressed by EFT.
Is There a “Hidden” Goal or Aspiration within You?
The reasons why people don’t really know what they want in life are extremely varied and many of them originate in early childhood experiences.
Maybe, you have a goal or aspiration, but something is holding you back from taking those first steps toward it. Certainly taking action can seem overwhelming. On the other hand, maybe you are taking action and just don’t feel you are performing as well as you’d like to be performing.
Whatever the situation, EFT can be extremely helpful for evoking life-changing experiences… what do you have to lose by exploring the possibilities?
Check out this Mini Motivational EFT Series
by Patricia Carrington Ph.D.
