Heal a Tailspin of Trauma: An EFT “Felling” Strategy

Multiple Traumatic Life-Changing Events

Over the years, I received questions from various people that paint a somewhat common scenario— people experiencing one disaster after another in their lives. The stories revealed a “pile-up” of traumatic, life-changing events. Here are just two exemplary situations:

Scenario 1 – Sudden death of a loved one -> crippling illness in a nuclear family member -> loss of job and career

Scenario 2 – Assaulted with attempted murder -> continued stalking by freed assailant -> acquired life-threatening illness -> became unable to work –> severe financial distress

Others wrote about similar overwhelmingly difficult situations that occurred one after another, and the core question asked was, “How can Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or EFT Tapping) help with this?

To address using self-help for multiple traumatic events in one’s life, there are some ground rules.

Self-Help Requires True Intention

EFT, like every other self-healing technique in existence, is only as effective as the intention behind it.  It is your own inner courage and willingness to change the way life impacts you that will bring about the results you desire with EFT. 

In other words, your intention must become the spirit that animates what would otherwise be only a mechanical intervention, a mere series of rules to follow.

Let me explain more clearly.

If you have experienced traumatizing circumstances, one after another in your life, EFT cannot change the fact that they happened.  You know that.

However, if you are wondering if EFT can change the way the unfortunate string of events is going to affect the rest of your life, the answer is yes, with a qualified “yes.”

It is qualified because many different and extremely trying issues often produce multiple layers of trauma. Undoubtedly, it will take a good deal of work with EFT, or any other form of therapy, to neutralize the traumatic events and bring you to a place where you have a true sense of peace within.

Keep in mind that there will be no instant “magic” transformation, but there will be powerful assistance if you have the stamina to pursue your painful memories, one by one, and use EFT to cut down the multiple “trees” in the forest of those memories …

“Felling” definition: to cut down a tree, or many trees.

It is true that some people, by means of sheer willpower and unswerving determination, have worked alone with EFT to overcome severe problems such as clinical depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and the like. But I am certain that these people never first asked the question, either of themselves or of others, “Do you think EFT can help here?” 

They just made sure it would help by doing EFT repeatedly, day after day, week after week, month after month, and even for years, if necessary. They did what was necessary to make it work. They undoubtedly learned all they could about the method, and then went to work on their multiple problems.

An Essential Question to Ponder

My full answer, therefore, involves a question.  

“What it is that you want EFT to help get rid of in your life?”

This is a crucial question because the impact of a potentially devastating series of events upon you needs to be specifically defined. 

How you have responded to each of those events?

Many people who have suffered such life challenges  can often pinpoint a variety of symptoms such as depression, anxiety attacks, flashbacks, sleeplessness, or possibly a host of stress related physical conditions. 

Any, or all, of one’s reactions to a series of traumatic events in life can be targeted, with EFT, to revisit the memories and take the charge off of each of the traumas involved.

But, first, a person needs to decide, for themselves, that it is their PERSONAL REACTION TO THE EVENTS that they choose to change, and then apply this knowledge in a precise and targeted manner.

Ultimately, the only question that EFT can directly address is, “How can you RESPOND DIFFERENTLY to your present circumstances?” 

Sometimes, often, seemingly mysteriously, a person’s life circumstances take a sharp turn for the better, after inner healing has taken place.

Perceptions of life emerge very differently, which is one of the gracious side effects of EFT. Many times, a surprising transformation occurs that could never be sought, directly. 

Most importantly, you must always work with yourself and on yourself, first. Doing so can enable an extremely gratifyingly byproduct of this process, which is that your outer circumstances will change.  Of course, that outcome is not a given; your first allegiance should be to honesty about yourself and your emotions.

A Systematic Process for Multiple Traumatic Events

If you have been challenged in with similar situations, I urge you to follow a systematic plan, constructed in phases, to see what EFT can do for you. 

Phase One: Assess Your Negative Reactions

Take some time to sit down with a pen and paper.

Make a column on the left-hand side of your page with a heading entitled “Negative Reactions.”

Beginning with the first event in the “tailspin” of the devastating events you’ve experienced, write down each event with a brief, underlined title.

Beneath the title, write down all of the negative reactions the event created in you. 

• Write exhaustively. 
• Leave nothing out. 
• Keep adding to your list if necessary. 
• Be ruthlessly honest with yourself.

*** Don’t just include the obvious (end result) reactions that you have had, for example, physical impairment, developing fibromyalgia, having extreme tension/panic attacks, or feeling a sense of hopelessness, etc. Think about and list the more subtle, and often, even more important types of response such as:

— Deep distrust of people

— Intense resentment

— Guilt / Self-blame

— Haunting fears / Worry

— Humiliation

— Shame

— Helpless / Vulnerable

— Shock

— Denial / Disbelief

— Rage / Anger, etc.

Be utterly honest when you do make your list.  Confront your feelings squarely and head-on. 

Don’t water down concepts or words, and don’t be polite.  Open up and express what you felt, clearly, throughout all of those distressing events.

This may take up more than a page, but let the list be as long as needed. Then proceed to the next task, which is…

Phase Two: Contemplate Desired Responses

Make another column on the right hand side of your page and make a heading on that column entitled “Desired Event Response.”

In that column, think about and write down how you would want to feel about each single listed feeling associated with that event – if you had a magic wand that could transform the feelings in the left hand column into exactly the way you would IDEALLY like to feel about it. 

Never mind whether you believe it will ever be possible to feel positively about it or not. 

Just write down how you would LIKE TO FEEL and do so directly opposite the negative reaction that you don’t want to have any more. 

Many times, positive reactions will be the exact opposite of the negative state that you do not want, though it may not always be the case.  Here are a few examples to clarify this.

Suppose, you have written, in the left column, the negative reaction of “rage.” In the right-hand, positive, column you would write the opposite type of reaction, such as one of the following phrases (or find one more appropriate for you) to describe that positive emotion:

• Neutral about (whomever or the circumstance)
• Inwardly calm
• At peace (or peaceful)
• Calm and confident, etc.

Notice that I didn’t use any negative words in these suggestions for the right hand column. This is very important.  You are not to say, for example, “no longer enraged” or use any other statement that involves an absence of something undesirable. 

Repeating the negative emotion in the positive column, EVEN IF YOU STATE THAT YOU DON’T WANT IT, only helps the negative emotion persist; you would be repeatedly reminding yourself of it – which is not good. That would be counterproductive to your healing.

Phase Three: Apply the EFT Choices Method

After you have converted EACH of the negative responses into a corresponding desirable response, you will be ready to apply EFT, using the highly effective EFT Choices method.

(NOTE: If you do not know the Choices method, you can learn the basics, very quickly, with my Power of Personal Choice in EFT eBook. 

 

 

Begin by devising an EFT Choice out of each of the positive phrases that you have written in the Desired Response column. Combine it with the corresponding Negative Response Phrase from the left-hand column to create an EFT set up phrase.

Using an example from the list above, you could create a following set up phrase:

“Even though I feel enraged (furious, etc.) at (whomever/whatever), I choose to feel inwardly calm about what happened.”

“Even though I feel afraid about (whatever), I choose to feel calm and confident.” (Note: My Borrowing Resources instruction can be very beneficial with fears)

Systematically address each negative entry and spend an entire EFT session, using the Choices Trio, or perhaps several sessions, on it, tapping the negative reaction down to a zero or one on the 1 to 10 point Intensity Scale. 

It may take days, weeks, or months to work through all of the negative reactions you might have, especially, if there a good number of issues to address.

It’s important to remember that persistence is essential!

Words of Encouragement

If you follow these steps with persistence, then there will, indeed, be something that EFT can do for you!

The adversities in your life may have been many and your efforts to prevent them from undermining your life, FROM NOW ON, in your decision to use EFT will, of course, demand great effort. 

Through the effort, the payoff can be tremendous –it can be a chance to achieve a new beginning for your life. 

Quite possibly, by doing this, you can attain a sense of well-being and peacefulness that you have not known in a very long time, or maybe not even before the chain of mishaps occurred.  This, alone, should encourage you to undertake a rigorous plan of action for applying EFT and making it part of your daily life. 

You will, in effect, be making a steadfast decision to MAKE EFT work for you, despite all the difficulties you have encountered. 

NOTE: If you are uncertain about tackling trauma of your past circumstances with EFT, alone, and are willing to seek someone to work with you, who can guide you in the use of EFT for your memories, the chances of arriving at a very different place in your life, despite those unfortunate circumstances, can be greatly accelerated.  An experienced EFT therapist is not only highly desirable in these situations, but may be needed if you are unable to progress alone.

With heartfelt best wishes to you in your healing endeavor,

Pat Carrington

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