Emotional Freedom Technique Founder, Gary Craig advised people to “shout” the EFT phrases — or at least repeat them with great emphasis — when you get “stuck” during EFT Tapping, or when things don’t seem to be moving along as they should. This is very good advice, although strangely, it is seldom followed.
How is Emphasis with EFT Useful?
The key point here is that this recommendation reminds us that, above all, EFT is a CONVERSATION with oneself. Like any other conversation, it is effective or ineffective according to its “tone,” the genuineness in the voice and manner of the participants. In this case the participants are two sides of oneself — the side that talks and the side that listens.
For example, suppose a person (let’s call her “Lorraine”) decides to tap on the following set-up phrase:
“Even though I’m furious at him for blaming me unfairly, I choose to be calm and see this in perspective.”
There are many ways she can say this.
One way is to rush through the set-up phrase as fast as she can possibly talk (many people do this to hurry the process along). Doing this she would repeat at top speed, “Even-though-I’m-furious-at-him-for-blaming me…(etc.)” as though it were all one word!
Actually, saying it this fast might be effective in certain instances because the speed could be effective in itself. She would almost be spitting out her words and by doing so she would be getting out quite a bit of anger. For some people, the speed could express an agitated state and release that agitation.
But — and this is an important “but” – all too often, rushing through an EFT phrase in this fashion is an escape, it is pushing away the meaning of the words, a “let’s get it over with” maneuver. If the speed is unusually fast, it can actually be self-defeating because the “conversation” with yourself could then become almost meaningless.
Imagine that someone spoke to another person by rushing their words so fast that they came out staccato. Would that convince the other person of much of anything? Would it “make friends and influence people” as the old Dale Carnegie saying goes? It’s not likely, unless you were an orator seeking to stir up a crowd to a state of frenzy.
It is exactly the same when talking to oneself. Occasionally high speed mechanistic repetition can have a strong positive effect and be just what is needed. At other times, it can be just an escape from a troublesome emotion and thereby make EFT much less effective.
Suppose, by contrast, Lorraine was to repeat this phrase with a different kind of emphasis:
“Even though I’m FURIOUS (with this word shouted) at him for blaming me unfairly, I choose to be calm and see this in perspective.”
It is highly likely that this statement would bring her closer to her real “self.” She would be acknowledging her own feelings more fully and honestly, which could well result in a breakthrough in terms of her ability to express anger.
Suppose then that she added another dimension to this EFT set-up phrase by saying the positive (last part) of the set-up phrase, in this case a “Choice,” in a special way by actually THINKING about it as she said it, and the phrase came out this way:
“…I choose to be calm….( a brief pause here to let the idea of calmness register with her), and see this in perspective (musing as she speaks, as though she were “seeing” a distant landscape in perspective).
The Results
With this kind of thoughtful articulation of the positive reminder phrase, Lorraine would be telling herself something very important, her voice tone would convey “perspective” on the situation, and the emotional impact of the phrase would be much deeper. Add to this the fact that she would be installing this new positive perspective at a very deep, almost subliminal level due to the effect of the tapping –– and she could have an eye opening experience. Ultimately, a new perspective could really come through to Lorraine!
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