Tapping on Being Able to Say “No” – by Gene Monterastelli

Sometimes the hardest word to say is "no".  We want to be helpful.  We want to give. We don't want to be selfish.  We want to be asked again in the future.  There are so many reasons to say "yes".  What are the reasons to say "no"?

Here are some of them.

   ● We have too much on our plate.

   ● We need to spend some time on ourselves.

   ● We are being asked to do something we can't do.

   ● We are being asked to do something we just don't want to do.

The fact is that we need to be okay with saying "no", so we can say "yes" when the time is right. If you have a hard time saying “no” here is a tapping exercise that can be helpful. If you have real trouble saying NO you might want to revisit this exercise from time to time.

Starting with the Karate Chop spot, proceed with a round or two of meridian tapping repeating the following phrases out loud at each spot:

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Karate Chop Spot:  I have a very hard time saying "no"..

Inner Eyebrow:  I want to be helpful..

Outer Eye. I want the people in my life to know I care..

Under Eye:  I don't want to be selfish…

Under Nose: I really have so much to offer…

Under Mouth: I want others to know that I have something to offer..

Collar Bone:  I want to be there for others…

Under Arm.  I want to be asked again and I feel if I say "no" now I won't be asked again…

Top of Head:  But now I choose to see this differently…

Inner Eyebrow:  I  choose to know that am allowed to say "no"..

Outer Eye: .I can say "no" when I can't do something…

Under Eye:   I can say "no" when I don't want to do something…

Under Nose:   I can say "no" for no other reason than it is my choice to say "no"…

(PAUSE AND TAKE AN EASY BREATH  AND ABSORB WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING, THEN CONTINUE..)

Under Mouth:  The only way I am going to be healthy is if I take care of myself…

Collar Bone:  The only way I can take care of myself is by not always taking care of everyone else…

Under Arm:  By taking care of myself I can better care for others in my life…

Top of Head:  It is like putting the oxygen mask on first in the airplane…

Inner Eyebrow:  I can say "no" even if people are thinking I am being selfish by saying "no"…

Outer Eye:  it is much more important for me to take care of myself than it is to worry about what others think about me..

TAKE ANOTHER EASY BREATH…

Under Eye:  When I say "no" I am also saying

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"yes" to many other possibilities and opportunities..

 

Under Nose:  Therefore "no" is not a negative…

Under Mouth:  It is a choice to allow the other "yes-es"…

Collarbone:  I give myself permission to make the choices that are best for me…"yes" or "no"…

Under Arm:  I give myself a chance to make the choices that are going to allow me to flourish and grow..

Top of Head:  .I must take care of myself before I can take care of others…

Inner Eyebrow:  This doesn't mean I ignore other's needs..

Outer Eye:  …but I must also consider my needs when making choices..

Under Nose:  That is what is best for me…

Under Mouth:  That is what is best for others…

Collar Bone:  I give myself permission to be easy with myself for all the times that I have said "yes" when I should have said "no"…

Top of Head:  There are times I have made my life harder because I have said "yes" when I should have said "no"…

Inner Eyebrow:  I have said "yes" to things I could not do…

Outer Eye:  I have said "yes" to things I shouldn't have…

Under Eye:  I have made my life harder…

Under Nose:  I forgive myself for the times I should have said "no" but didn't…

Under Mouth:  It is ok that I have done this in the past…

Collarbone:  I choose learn from those moments..

Top of Head:  .I choose to know I can make better choices in the future..

Inner Eyebrow:  I can change this pattern…

Outer Eye:  I will change this pattern..

Under Eye:  I will start by saying "no" to holding on to this regret…

Under Mouth:  I also let go the resentment I hold towards others who have taken advantage of my always saying "yes"…

Collarbone:  I choose to take responsibility for my responses….

Top of Head:  Just because someone has asked doesn't mean that I have to say "yes"..

Inner Eyebrow:  I take responsibility for the times I have said "yes" even when I didn't want to…

Outer Eye:  I give myself permission to take responsibilities for my choices in the future…

Under Eye:  By taking responsibility for my past…I get to have control over my future…

Under Nose:  I therefore let go of blame to others whom I have said "yes" to…

Under Mouth:  I am not in control..

Collarbone:  I can and will make the choice that is right for me…be it "yes" or "no".

Take a deep, easy breath and allow yourself to absorb the words.  Repeat this tapping session whenever you need to.

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Gene Monterastelli is an EFT practitioner in Baltimore, MD, and author of numerous articles on EFT that appear in this newsletter and regularly on his website http://eftQandA.com.  He can be e-mailed directly at eftqanda@gmail.com.

 

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