Handling Childhood Experiences that Hinder Confidence

There are a number of experiences in childhood that can create fears about presenting new ideas to others.  Here are some of them:

School Experiences

Unfortunately we learn some “lessons” that are better not learned at school, along with all the essential knowledge that this institution imparts.  One of these can be a deep insecurity about presenting new and different ideas to others.

Even if you have had a number of encouraging and open minded teachers in your school years, it takes only one disparaging teacher who may have ridiculed or chastised you for not giving the “right” answers, or for suggesting an idea that was outside the accepted classroom curriculum, for you to shudder at the idea of risking such criticism again.

If you have had unfortunate school experiences when presenting new ideas, you will benefit greatly from using EFT to counteract them.  To do so you may want to use a phrase such as:

Even though I was blamed (criticized, ridiculed etc.) by (name of teacher) for not giving the answers she/he wanted (or, for presenting ideas that were off the beaten path, etc.), I choose to remember how well some of my new ideas have been accepted today.”

This EFT statement makes use of what is known as a Personal Resource State, to counteract an unfortunate memory.  Personal

 

How to Borrow Power Resources to Change Your Life

Resource States consist of remembered moments of success or excellence in one’s own life and they can make very powerful Choices to use with EFT. 

 

By the way, many people like to use the EFT Choices method to counteract negative attitudes and beliefs because it works by substituting positive attitudes for them.  Try to think of a specific instance in which you told someone about EFT (or any other new and unusual method in fact) and your ideas were accepted with enthusiasm.  Then create a vivid picture in your mind of this positive incident as you repeat the EFT statement suggested above.  Doing so can help enormously to counteract the negative conditioning of a school experience.

Family Experiences

Quite obviously our families of origin were the source of many attitudes, both positive and negative, which we experience today.  One of the ways that family members can inadvertently contribute to a child’s insecurity about presenting new and different ideas is by verbally pinning the child down and demanding that they justify every bit of what they are saying (that they give examples of what they are saying, prove that it is so, etc.).  Older family members can be expert at demanding such “justification” from a child rather than allowing him or her to simply express their ideas with enthusiasm.  If this applies to you, you might try tapping on the following EFT statement:

Even though I had to be RIGHT (prove what I was saying, etc.) or (name of person) would criticize me, I choose the freedom to be wrong or indefinite at times today and be effective anyway.”

This is an essential freedom, and tapping using this or similar phrase can make a great difference in your level of confidence when presenting EFT to those whom you are afraid may demand “proof” of its value.  It will leave you free to let your genuine enthusiasm express itself.

Family members can also undermine a child’s ability to express new ideas in many other ways.  Try to remember for a moment if any family members did this with you (however well intentioned they might have been) and then create a positive Choice to counteract it, or use the EFT default phrase “I deeply and completely accept myself” to neutralize this unfortunate conditioning.  It will work.

Peer Pressure

Children can be very cruel in their dismissal of other children’s ideas and they typically mince no words in saying so:

“That’s dumb! “ “That’s a silly idea!” “My Mommy (Daddy, or whoever) says that’s not true!”

These and similar put-downs can hurt deeply when you are a child longing for the acceptance of your peers – and what child doesn’t?

Do you recall times when other children laughed at you or made fun of you or ridiculed you for expressing new and different ideas?  If so, then try tapping on an EFT statement such as:

Even though they made fun of me for my ideas, I choose to remember the time(s) that (name of person) was so impressed with what I had to say that he/she really began to think differently.”

Here again I am asking you to make use of a Personal Resource State, some memory of an extremely positive response to a time that you expressed a new and different idea.  If you have such a memory, put a brief phrase describing that positive memory into your EFT Choices phrase and it can powerfully counteract the sense of defeat and humiliation that stem from childhood ridicule.

These are of course only some of the ways that your past experiences may be impacting on your present level of confidence when presenting EFT to others.  There are many more possibilities.  I suggest you explore some of your memories along these lines – the negative ones that may have caused the problem, and the positive exceptions to this response that can be used as Personal Resources.  Then do some tapping!  This will help more than any “formula” when telling others about EFT.  If you are confident when you talk to others about it, they are much more likely to believe you and express interest in the technique.  As I explained in my first article in this series, that has been my experience when describing EFT and I believe the reason for the success of my presentation of it.

EFT Master, Dr. Patricia Carrington

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